I am beginning to feel as though there is some cosmic conspiracy to force me into getting in shape. Today I experienced the ultimate betrayal by my favorite guilty pleasure. I opened my People magazine, and too my disgust, there is a 10 page spread entitled "Half Their Size." As if this ridiculous article with the half page pictures of smiling skinny people holding up their amorphous fat clothes was not enough, the next article featured six bulky brides-to-be pledging to lose 40-50 pounds by their fall nuptials. One such subject even stated that she was prepared to call of her wedding if she did not reach her goal. Something tells me that she may be missing the deeper meaning/purpose of the wedding ceremony. I said a quick prayer for her soon-to-be husband.
In the attempt to diversify my work outs, I chose to use my Wii Fit tonight. It has been quite a while since I last used it. As I stepped onto the board, it actually groaned (no lie, it made a sound effect). After scrolling through the perfunctory greetings, I was quickly reunited with my arch nemesis--the scale. When the Wii Fit had finished calculating my weight, it gave me drum-roll and cheerfully announced "You're Obese!" At that moment, I watched in horror as my Mii figure bulked up in front of my eyes, hung her head, and looked at me with disgust. I had just been ridiculed by a video game. My humiliation is complete.
I endured the abuse and dutifully completed a surprisingly vigorous 45 minute workout. All hope is not lost, however. Although my Wii Fit appeared to relish in my obesity, I am nine pounds lighter than I was when I went for my physical. Hooray for small victories!
With my first 5K fast approaching, I am beginning to feel an urgency to step up the pace of my workouts. Tomorrow, I am going to attempt to walk the distance of a full 5K on my treadmill. I am more than a little scared...