Interestingly, I am not an unhealthy person. My fear of doctors is completely unfounded--especially considering that my mother is a nurse, and my nauseatingly fit sister is in her third year of medical school. (Side note: I promised that I would mention my youngest sister in this blog. We will call her the "irritatingly pretty sister.") Perhaps I can best explain my cowardice by comparing the process of the physical to that of a particularly diabolical obstacle course:
Obstacle 1: The receptionist:
As a rule, the receptionists at physicians' offices are not kind to the habitually tardy. This one was no exception. We have met before--she hates me. I could sense her disdain as I signed the ubiquitous clipboard. She glared at me and informed me that she would ask my physician if she would still see me. For a brief moment, I sensed imminent escape--if she won't see me, then I am free! My hopes were dashed, however, when the delightful receptionist grudgingly informed me that I would be seen.
Obstacle 2: The scale:
This ruthlessly unforgiving monstrosity has been taunting me for many years. Just when I begin to believe that my dryer shrank every piece of clothing I own, my eternal foe jerks me right back to the harsh reality of the most dreaded number imaginable--my weight.
Obstacle 3: The Reckoning:
As I faced the she-devil I call my physician, I braced myself for her wrath. I had gained 20 lbs since my last appointment six months ago. I took my lecture like a man and assured her that everything was about to change. I filled her in on my new endeavor. I was pleasantly surprised when she gave me some tips and pledged her support. Perhaps she is not the demon I once thought...
Obstacle 4: The Pap Smear:
Obstacle 5: Lab Work:
Needles, blood, and urine--these are not a few of my favorite things. However, I did experience something new. While drawing my blood, the lab tech discovered that I am a counselor. She actually followed me into the bathroom, closed the door, and proceeded to ask my advice concerning a personal dilemma. During our conversation, I actually caught myself gesturing emphatically with my urine cup. After an impromptu therapy session, I obediently filled the cup and was on my way.
Freedom! I made it out of this medical house of horrors safely with a dose of the H1N1 vaccine, a clean bill of health, and my physician's blessing to begin training.
As promised, I completed my mile walk. I opted for a walk outside with my hubby and dog instead of the treadmill.
Day three's assignment: venturing into the gym...